sept 3 18

i need to feel okay with myself again

im stressing over everything

i kicked albert out of my apartment this morning

im over here at my moms place with cielle and chavez

how am i supposed to make this work?

jase is mad at me. im mad at albert … omg…

i hope shit works out somehow,,,, jeez

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the callous in my heart

my heart was heavy because I’m not doing what it wants

9:27 jeez he is terrible:(  he jus expressed he says I’m next

feed my diabetes,,,  is what he also said


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Real piece of work huh

laugh out loud. Carolyn! Get off your ass and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Ffs. Kick your self to be positive and kind to yourself please.

chavez and cielle depend on you. Ayana and Jermaine depend on you. Well I guess they must love you somehow. Lol awnsaa.

anyways just need to give my self some encouragement!


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August 29, 2018

Hello there knet peepers!E6939FBE-6AD5-4D3F-B494-5525183120F2

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But why?

Anytime I feel this way about a man, it always feels wrong?

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The things i would say to youOo

hi. Fuck you have such a sexy voice, stolen moment.

The way I want to express my thoughts and feelings about this. In a serious manner. Baby. I just burnt myself in the pant leg. Lol. Why did I say no when I wanted to say yes?

My my my between the sheets?




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hbd Carla!!! 40 years beautiful that one!

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July 8

albert keesick JR you fukin loser

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im so tired yet I’m so lonely

im so hurt and yet I want affection and yearn for another human beings touch n caress,,, im not hungry but I’m starving for human touch and love

fuck I feel so alone

trying to push myself through work but a hug really does work wonders

I miss my son Chavez I miss his hugs n kisses

i miss being his mom :(

god it’s so hard to try to act like I’m okay

I end up breaking down and crying at work

im glad to have Jermaine at home but I think I’ll give him a hug when I get home because I need a hug,,,

i don’t think my online friend knows I’m starving for love here

its terrible I feel alone and isolated

and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it

i was watching a video about Chester Bennington

he was sexually abused he had a problem with substance abuse and he was depressed I feel like I can relate

he committed suicide I don’t want to die

but I want these feelings to end




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Life goes on

work mode at Canadian Tire,,, 11-3

have a good day

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