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Why do I wait up?

Then boom! There you are on the screen.

Why did I want this in the first place? My crazy thoughts of you with me.

I enjoy the silly and sexual remarks. Oops. I said it.

but what about the times I’m uncomfortable about the situation.

damn. I just want to run away sometimes to ignore the world.

which would be an awesome thing because i dont have to worry about anything. Let people be who they choose to be.







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hi. Im doing okay. Im try to stay strong.

Im at my place in kenora.

im sad. Sad that people are miserable af about me,

i met someone awesome,,, he’s very caring and been through a lot

i was crying telling him some of the crap I went through

but he was totally cool about it

totally nonjudgmental and accepting

I told id be honest and I’d be there to listen to him anytime ,,, day or night, sun or moon light,,,,

omg I didn’t sleep until after 3 this mornin, we chatted for 4 hours straight…. I love it when u find those type of connections

the Shaw guy is here hooking up the internet

hmm I wonder what he is doing now

anyways I just need to think and talk about something else other than

what crap albert throws at me,,, calling me a whore again and that I can never be loved and appreciated ,,,

so sad,,, it makes me frustrated,,,,

but life goes on,,,,

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3/20/18 awesomeness











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im getting my tickets matt good n OLP tickets ,,, yeah baby

almost show time baby

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what a place to be parked

I’m not expecting….lol


Driving in unfamiliar places here

i still get nervous sometimes


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March 18

2 days until our lady peace n matt good concert…. yay

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I Pray For That Fool For You

well i guess i can’t make anyone happy anymore i do my best buts its never good enough jase no effect: i dont know what the big deal is anymore… why is your life so damn private that u need a legal team and maids reading through our messages and yet u have the nerve to get mad when albert reads our messages,,,,, ffs albert: yeah i gave you countless changes and unlimited love and forgiveness after all this crap we put each other through,,,,, i even took u to kenora so u could see your lover fawn when you were all messed up about her,,,, i put my own needs aside that time…. i put myself aside a lot of times for the people i love and care about… well Carolyn! look after yourself and quit worrying about people who dont give a muskrat’s ball hair about you ,,,,, must be written down in your life stories of Carolyn tribulations,,, lol wtf is that? sometimes i read words somewhere,,,they pop into my head later,,,i try to use them but i dont know what im saying i was telling tyson i used to babysit my brother and sister a lot when they were growing up,,, the teacher at school asked cayla to draw a picture of her family, she drew me, (may be carla), her, JJ, and Dreyson,,,,the teacher asked her where her mom was ? she told the teacher she went to bingo…. lol funny girl omg its been so long since i just got to sit down and write to my homepage…. im listening to miracle by jon bon jovi,,, now Santa Fe… music from the young guns II soundtrack     the spirits they intoxicate me i watch them infiltrate my soul” may be people dont like me because i say things that other people wont say,,,, the truth,,, lol staaaaaah everyone has their own version of the truth,,,, their own lives and their own realities of whats going on their world,,,, pffffftttttt just misery loves company so much,,,, whiskey took my little sister by the hand and made her think she fell in whiskey love,,,,, shkint,,, LOL but yeah she loves to party her poor body is taking a beating though same with my brother Joseph John…. hes all grumpy in his room,,,, hung over perhaps…. he just shakes away,,, and he gets sick,,,, i can understand why he’s so depressed,,,, i wish he would help himself….i wish she would help herself….i wish i could do it for them because i would if i could….but i am only me,,, i cant take any of it away for any of them….but i can love them and support them as they go along in their journey of life,,,,,



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Did you ever wonder?

A3AE8F4C-DA16-4711-86EF-1C185164BB4Fdid u ever wonder if we would still be friends?

did u ever wonder who I was before there was ever a you in my digital life?

did you ever wonder how we ever got to this point in time today know each other the way that we do?


do you ever wonder if we never met, what might have been different?


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